I feel like I’ve been in quite the anti-social and exhausted mood recently. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been dealing with complicated medical problems and a lot of stress at work as of late and there just isn’t a smidge of energy left to be social and up.
Which is saying something coming from me who typically is manically up and overtly social. The ultimate party planner, the friend who always calls to make plans, the person who’s always up to hang out.
Maybe I’m just changing and finding solo activities or activities with my husband or the best friend more enjoyable these days. Perhaps it’s a combination of all of the above.
I liked the way Chris put it the other night when I was expressing my frustration at my constant exhaustion and inability to make it through two gym classes without feeling like I’m gonna pass out. He said it’s like I was running from a lion before (what he means by this was I was working 2 and 3 jobs, driving all over Sacramento teaching piano lessons, going to school full-time, and also going to the gym for close to 8 hours a week.) And doing most of it just to get by. Keeping myself busy while he went through the job change, keeping my energy up during the stress of school, etc. But now the lion is gone and I’m still trying to keep up that speed. But my body is just not having it.
I’m still convinced that it has something to do with the medical stuff…which I’m sure part of it does. But I think he’s on to something too. My priorities have shifted – in a big way – over the last several months. Working full time has it’s own stresses – I do have a commitment of two zumba classes per week plus softball. But it was like once I lost my students in December, I lost that impetus to be out for 12 hours a day (almost everyday). Before I did it beacause I HAD TO. Now I get off from a stressful, long day at work and most of the time I’d choose going home over 3 hours at the gym and a host of social commitments.
Most weekends I’d be much more content to be at home – Pandora setting the mood – learning to cook something new, reading a great book, spending time writing, and even cleaning my house. That last one may sound weird, but order is serenity to me. (Some may call it OCD, but that’s okay.)
But the sad thing is instead of enjoying these newfound simple happinesses, I’m always in a state of panic that there is more that I need TO DO. When sometimes the only thing to do is just be. Just do whatever. Just relax.
Maybe I just need more practice at this. At embracing this new form of enjoyment. Because it is so important not to get burnt out on life. And I think that’s what I was verging on before.
How do you avoid burn out?? Any tips?